last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
