I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
she looked like the before picture.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
