We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
