Do you still have your period?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
