The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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