nut hugger
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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