Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
