Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
