Umm I'm too high to move.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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