Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
