just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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