I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
