Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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