when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dick very happy bro
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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