I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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