Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I can't turn off my feet"
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
