masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
