i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
