oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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