Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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