So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
