you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
