i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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