yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
