these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
