Sponge bath it is.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
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I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
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Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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