Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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