why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
There's even glitter on my cock...
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