I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize