My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
