he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
