I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
