If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
