I just saw a hot homeless man
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
