If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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