Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
