It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
