If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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