im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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