The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
