Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
