I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
