I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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