Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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