Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
