i just had sex bonerless
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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