I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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