What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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