that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
