if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize