I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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