Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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