I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
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So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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