so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
