Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
