My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
