He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize