So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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