What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm passing your future prison.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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