he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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