haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
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I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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