Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize