Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
