talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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